The Journey of Self Love and Acceptance
Sometimes I feel like I could apologize my way out of existence, with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. There are some days when I have a really hard time getting out of bed and then get mad and frustrated at myself for staying in bed all day; even though it’s possible I need the rest. Loving yourself is difficult; I honestly think it may be the most difficult things in the world to learn to do.
Every day we are fed through the media images and ideals of who we should be and what we should look like. If there are times that you feel as if you don’t fit into these certain stereotypes it’s difficult to understand that there is nothing wrong with you, but there is everything wrong with society and the world we live in.
I’ve had depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and I have been on medication since I was 16. Lately I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety and some depression lately and it’s been somewhat embarrassing and frustrating. There are days when I feel really good and feel like I’ve succeeded and done what I need to do and I feel like I could conquer the world and there are other days where I feel as if I am the biggest loser to have ever existed. Now I know the latter is so far from the truth, but there are some days I really feel it. I feel the grey dark cloud over me, the voices in my head telling me that I’m not good enough or pretty enough or smart enough. It took me a long time to realize that those voices in my head telling me all those awful horrible things weren’t me. Those voices were the depression, the anxiety and the overwhelming sadness that I felt, but they weren’t me; the very core truth of who I am is someone compassionate, caring, always rooting for the underdog, always there to help a friend or anyone in need. I may have said all of those things about myself, but I don’t believe them. I hope one day I will.